The Luckiest

Hey everyone, it's been awhile.

I have 2 things on my mind. The first is, holy geez guys, decisions are hard sometimes. Even after we've made the choice, sometimes it's hard to not look back or have the inclination to change our minds. So I finally made a move with this whole going back to school thing, right? I applied to 5 schools. Heard back from 2 of them in December already to set up interviews. One of which being my "I'm pretty certain this is where I wanna go" school. I go to the interview for that one first, a month ago. It went well, a week and a half later I got my acceptance later. Woo-hoo, you're thinking? Not exactly. They gave me 10 days, TEN DAYS, to make my decision and send in a rather large non-refundable bundle of money to save my spot and start paying my tuition. Which basically meant I could kiss good-bye the idea of interviewing at other schools and shopping around. Really foolish and stupid. Or else choose not to go and hope one of the other schools was right. So after a pretty terrifying week of trying to figure things out, I made my decision, went with my initial seemingly foolish and stupid instincts combined with a few other things ;) and chose that school, PCOM. And that was that right? Mehhh, nope.

A week later, today, 2 of the other schools contact me, one of which being the University of Delaware, the school with the best school psychology grad program in the country. Telling me I'm one of their top applicants and they would love the chance to have me interview there. Let the second-guessing begin. And the curiousity. And the "maybe I'll just go interview there for the experience...couldn't hurt right?". And the what-ifs. Like, "I know I already ruled this school out because their tuition is out of this world expensive and I would be in 6-figure debt by the time I'm done, but what if they gave me a massive grant. It's the BEST program in the COUNTRY." Blech.

Sometimes, life is confusing. And exhausting, too. But we have to remember the feelings we had when a decision was made, and if it felt good and happy and comfortable and RIGHT, we need to stick to that like glue. And forget the rest. And don't doubt. It kills.


Second thing on my mind. When I was younger, I thought I would get married young, and I remember picking out 23 as the age that I would most definitely be married by. Haha as if I could just force that to happen. But that's what I thought. And sometimes, I wonder if people feel bad for me or wonder if I'm sad about not being there yet. In response to that, are you kidding me? I feel like sometimes, to lots of people, in and out of the church, life is just one giant race to get married, and if it doesn't happen by a certain point, then you're either not doing something right, or you're one of THOSE people. You know the ones. Wanna know what I think? I'm gonna tell ya anyway of course. I think God hand-picks the select and lucky few that get to spend some quality years single before marrying Mr. Right, and I'm one of those people. I've had time to get to know myself, to learn, to grow, to experience good and bad, to go out with guys, to enjoy friendships, to learn how to appreciate a good one when I find him, kiss a few frogs, accomplish other worthy goals, learn what love really is, have fun, and most importantly, I've had time to enjoy freedom and not living with a gross smelly man. haha If I'm lucky I'll get a few more! ;) And I probably still have a lot to learn. But I feel confident that when the time comes to make my decision, I'll be wiser, I'll be ready, and I'll appreciate that relationship a hecka lot more cuz I had to wait longer for it. Some people can get married before they're 20 and they're emotionally stable and mature enough and it works for them. And they think they're pretty lucky. I'm one of those people that has had the opportunity to look back on a younger me and see the extra time and chance I've been given for individual growth, and I think that I'm the luckiest.

Once again, lesson learned = don't doubt. Things work out. Out of bad situations come greatness and opportunities. And the best things come to those who wait the longest haha. AND...don't worry, be happy. No matter what your particular situation, make the most of it. Life is good. =)

Btw guys, it might not have sounded like it, but I'm REALLY super-duper excited about going back to school and going to Philly and the decision I made. AND a service mission in the near future. New adventures on the horizon.