I'm BA-ACK!

So, the title of this blog is supposed to be I'm back in a sing-song voice, but it kind of just looks like I'm Barack. I am not Barack. For the record.

It has been a loooong time you guys and I've missed blogging. I've heard a few of you miss reading too. =)

Where shall I begin?? I usually start the story somewhere around "MY LIFE IS CRAZY RIGHT NOW....". The end of May/beginning of June, everything literally just exploded. Here's what I remember:

1.) I left New Story.
2.) I started my graduate studies/classes at PCOM.
3.) I didn't have and couldn't find a place to live, or a roommate. I had a place and 2 days before I was going to move in found out I couldn't and was left with no clue what to do.
4.) At the last possible second (quite literally the nite before classes started) a girl sublet her apartment to me for 3 weeks in June in Manayunk. This meant I didn't have to commute the hour and a half drive one way, 3 nites a week for class. Despite an earlier post about Manayunk, I didn't hate it. I was just happy to not be on the street.
5.) School work got DUMPED on me. Papers, papers, and more papers.
6.) I found a roommate and searched high and low for a month trying to find an apartment, looking up a thousand online and going to see a bunch, meanwhile living out of my car and a packed bag most of the time.
7.)  Finally found one. A good one. Gated community, 24-hr security guards, pool, gym, 2 miles from school, 10 minutes from center city, and in a safe area.
8.) In that same month that I apartment searched, I didn't have a job, whilst having to pay MASSIVE bills for such things as school and the apartments.
9.) Therefore, I learned (indeed, am still learning) what it meant to be literally broke and not have "2 nickels to rub together".
10.) Got an on-campus job.
11.) Stayed with my sister and her family for a few days after the subletting was over and I couldn't stay in my apartment yet.
12.) Had several emotional, overly stressed-out, I'm-not-going-to-get-through-this, why-is-nothing-working-out-right mental breakdowns.
13.) Moved in.
14.) Managed to have summer fun, meet cool new people, spend time with my friends and family, and have everything just barely, flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, not-til-the-last-nanosecond work out every time.
15.) Best of all, I met Chase. Chronologically that happened before #1. And I don't know how I would've survived without him.

I'll start with 15, since I'm sure those of you that know me well would enjoy more details, those of you who know a little about my life really wanna know what the heck is going on, and those of you that only know my blog are thinking "what happened with that missionary guy she was writing to?" AND also because, Chase happens to be one of my favorite topics of conversation. =)

Boy do I love him. =) Wanna know why? Probably not, but I'm gonna be barfy and tell you anyway. Chase makes me laugh. He respects my opinion, listens to me, and honestly seeks my advice. He hates the thought of hurting my feelings, which never ever happens on purpose, and makes sure to fix it when he does. His eyes sparkle and light up when he looks at me. He has the BEST smile. He constantly looks after me to make sure I'm comfy and he's man enough to do un-manly things like carry my Vera Bradley bag while all the guys make fun of him, or sit down with me in the grass in the middle of the crowded Smithsonian/monument area of Washington D.C. to massage my hurting foot haha. He's mature enough that I've often thought he seems older than me, but he can be a total goofball and act like a kid too. He's lived everywhere and it's impossible to put a label on the man. I like to think of him as a tall, dark, and handsome California surfer boy, but even that makes me laugh because (aside from the tall dark and handsome) that doesn't really describe him at all. He tells the greatest stories, and he tells them well. He stays pretty humble, and he tries his best to do the right thing. 

It all began one fateful day at institute when I, not looking for any man and certainly not dressing to impress one (picture: no make up, hair in a fuzzy messy I've-been-chasing-a-special-needs-child-all-day bun, wearing a hoodie and moccasins), met this new boy who all the girls thought was the hottest thing, 2 weeks fresh off his mission. Love at first sight? Not quite. See, he says he saw something in me right off the bat, and so he was intrigued. And I, I thought he was cute, but being content with my life and knowing that about 3 other girls had already staked their claim, I didn't think any more than that. I am not one to pursue, or to hit on hard until I get pursued. And for the record, I am not a man-stealer, nor did the thought ever cross my mind "all the girls want him, I'm going to go after him too and take him away just for sport". I'm sure no one actually thinks that I think that way, but sometimes I get worried. Anyways, a few days later, we sat by each other at a fireside dinner, where he and our friend Ivan were discussing the "perfect girl" (curly hair, cooks good food and bakes delicious cookies, and wears sundresses haha). And I found Chase's strong opinions amusing and so when he spoke of his love for cookies and how he thought a man should come home from work to a plate of cookies everyday, I responded with "yeah? well what if the woman works too?". With little to no hesitation he responded "that's fine. I could be a stay at home dad. I'll make the cookies! Idk how good they'll be though. I really need to find a wife who can cook, because I'm terrible!" I decided he was cute and amusing. A few minutes later he got me a cup of water without being asked just because I mentioned being thirsty, and stood up when we were both done eating and without a word took my plate with him. Seemingly insignificant, but it speaks volumes about who he is, and that was one of the first things I noticed about him that I really liked. 

Flash forward a couple days after that, and after institute he chose to sit next to me in a corner booth separate from the crowd at Texas Roadhouse (I will never figure out why everyone ALWAYS goes there, btw). That was the first nite that I really thought "this boy is cute, and I should really start staying after at these things more". I had jumped on the Chase bandwagon, as I liked to call it. Meanwhile, I found out later, in the mind of Chase he thought "I like her. If she stays after, I'm staying after." A week and a half later, an even more fateful weekend occurred, where me, Chase, and our friends Ronnie and Jamison went to a dance in Virginia together on Friday nite. Despite much complaints from the boys about it being the worst dance and nite in the history of ysa activities (I'm not sure why they whined so much to be honest), I had an awesome time hanging out with them. And Saturday evening a group of us all went to the drive-in to see the Avengers and the Hunger Games, sitting in the back of Chase's truck. By the end of the weekend, I was pretty much in love with him. =) He liked me from the get-go, of course. ;)

And so it began. A couple weeks later it was official. And that's the story of how, despite growing tired of ysa activities and beginning to slack off in attending them, I decided to listen to the advice of  a dear friend. It is too personal to share, but suffice it to say, it led me to stick it out and keep going to things, and that's how I met my best friend.

Now, does this mean I am a ginormous skank and I broke the heart of my missionary friend Joshua? Or even worse, am I sneaking behind his back and haven't even told him, so someone better do it right now? Am I playing both of them and deserve to be hated by them and all girls everywhere? Or, on the other end of things, have I finally gotten over my sick unhealthy obsession, seen the light, and moved on with my life?

If you said yes for any of the above, or had an opinion similar to any of those, you're a jerk, get off my blog. J/K you can stay here if you want to. Just keep reading.

Josh is still one of my close friends. And I care about him just the same as always. I love his entire family. They are some of the coolest funnest people I know. But things happened about a year ago before he even left that made us realize anything more than friendship at that point was a big mistake. And so keeping options and the future open, we've been nothing more than friends this whole time. Not many people know the truth about that, I guess. Because let's face it, at the time I was pretty upset about how things were going, I didn't really understand it myself, and didn't think people needed to know, so I kept it quiet. I got annoyed because every time I tried to even hint at what was really going on to people, they acted like it was this great tragedy and I immediately didn't know how to explain it. It made me feel bad and I felt like people thought we'd done something wrong, or our love must not be as strong as others and we couldn't handle 2 years apart. But it was nothing like that at all. As for the obsession thing, you are sadly mistaken and I'm not even sure what to tell you to set the record straight on that front, other than....ummm, dude, it wasn't. And I was never in the dark or in denial.

Even now I feel like I don't need to explain myself or this situation in any great detail. People are going to believe and think what they want to about it really, so what's the point? And what is important to me is that all people involved, me, the boys, our families, and our close friends know the truth and we are all cool with it. That is what matters.

So life got crazy for awhile. But I made it through the summer semester with a 4.0, moved into my apartment, got a great-paying job and an interview for another one, and with my friends and my family's support and a wonderful man by my side, I'm stepping out into the light and beginning to settle after trudging through that terrifying whirlwind tunnel that the past couple months have been.

And I cannot even describe to you how grateful I am for all those people, and grateful that they're here, and they're alive, and I get to share life with them, and that we have life. The silent tears that have run down my face say much more than anything I could put on here. And nothing humbles you and opens your eyes more than a car accident, realizing you could lose someone at any second. Scroll down to see Chase's truck. Somehow, despite our flaws, our mistakes, our carelessness, and our deliberate acts of rebellion, Heavenly Father loves us all and more often than we know reaches out his hand and blesses us with miracles big and small. 

Here, have a few pictures from some of this summer's adventures:

Sydney and the pinata Patsy got for Syd and Steve's first anniversary party.

Ellen being a b.a. and showing a red-tailed hawk while teaching a class at Hawk Mountain.

Chase and I soaking wet after getting caught in storms hiking at Hawk Mountain.

Chase driving his truck on the way home from moving me in. Sticking his head out the window so he could have crazy hair haha. This is my favorite picture of him because of the joke-serious expression on his face.

Waiting in line at Dumser's in Ocean City. Such a ridiculous picture...somehow the camera angle gave me a horse face. Or maybe I moved it right when I snapped the picture and so it made the bottom half of my face blurry and stretched out. Either way, I look ridonkulous but it cracks me up.

Chase's poor totaled truck. =(

Sunset on the way back to Susanne's after class one evening. Pretty darn good considering I took this while driving on the freeway.

Banana cream pie from scratch that I made. Mmmm delicious.

At the Gettysburg conference dance.

Playing in the creek in East Berlin.

I really wanted those pants (they are green if you can't tell) and Chase bought them for me. As you can see, I am pretty stinkin happy about them. Also, my legs are not really that short.

Super-cute edible arrangement that Suzi (my roommate) got me as a thank you for finding the apartment.

The new cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory: Oreo dream extreme. Delicious!

Rainbow out my parent's front door. It was raining in the front yard and not in the back.

And that's all for now folks! It's good to be back.