Day 11: A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To
Ok, since I'm the boss of this blog, I've decided not to write a letter for day 11. Why, you ask? Because honestly I'm having way too much trouble trying to figure out a person to write to. I was talking with Mom about it, she said she could think of a bunch of people, but probably because she's older and has lost more. I've been to several funerals in the family. I'm close with people who have lost someone very dear to them. And yet I can't think of a thing I'd like to say to any of them. Weird? Idk. I suppose it's because I believe death isn't the end and we're all gonna be together again one day. So what's there to say now? "Hey. Love you. Miss you. Could you send some well wishes my way? You know, cuz you made it home and I'm still here and it gets really confusing sometimes...I need all the help I can get."
I have yet to lose someone very close to me that I want the chance to talk to one more time. Or someone that I wasn't on the best terms with and just wish I could've apologized and made things right. That hasn't happened yet for me.
The other week when the ysas took a trip to D.C., I saw the Lincoln exhibit at the Museum of American History and also the Lincoln Memorial and decided it would've been really fun to talk to Lincoln...does that count? But still, what could I say in a letter to him? "Umm, hi Mr. President, you were one of the greatest presidents in history and have some of the most inspiring quotes I've ever read." He's prolly up there going "yeah, I know...I rocked that". Nah I bet he's super-humble.
Am I being rude or unfeeling right now? I don't mean to. I know death is hard and one day it will really hit me...even knowing they're in a better place, there's gonna be people I'll miss desperately. But I guess the point of this post is, with the exception of a pet, it hasn't yet.
Give it some time. A few more years; a few more life experiences. It'll show up one day. And the hurt and loss will be so crippling and unbearable, and I'll look back on this post and be furious with myself, wishing I could go back to a time like this. Love the people in your lives with your entire heart. Give it away freely. You don't know how long those people will be with you, whether taken by death or ripped from you by grudges and hurt feelings. Love them, tell them how much you appreciate them, thank God for them.
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