Well, either no one wanted to discuss my last post or no one reads this...which ever it is, I'm not offended and I'm gonna keep posting haha. Besides I think I've figured out how to handle my situation.
Anyway, I need to rant. An hour and a half ago, I left work happy as a clam (btw I don't get that phrase...why are clams happy?) and figured it would just be my usual drive home down 81...heavy traffic, windows down, singing along to my music. And then someone almost killed me. And I mean this. Yes, I tend to exaggerate, like for example there's a fly buzzing around my room right now and it's the size of my head. But I'm not exaggerating about this. I was driving in the middle of 3 lanes minding my own business, and all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, I see the minivan next to me on the right getting super close to me, and I panicked, sped up, and swerved to miss getting side swiped and pushed into the tractor-trailer in the left lane. WOO-HOO...exactly what I wanted to happen on my drive home. Must have been in their blind spot, I guess...they were like right next to me. And I should've honked my horn, but I didn't have time to even think. So no biggie, right? I was kinda shaken up, but I'd get over it. Oh, but it gets better. So as I'm still in panicky/I almost died/freaking out mode, the minivan merges behind me, and then decides to ride my butt and when they get the chance, speed past me blaring their horn and all passengers of the van put their windows down, stuck their hands out and flicked me off.
For the next 20 minutes I drove, sitting rigid, not singing a word, completely out of it...and then it all hit me and I started BAWLING. Partly, because I had just almost been killed. But mostly, because it bothers me how little value people put into other's lives. That person, because of their own carelessness and inattention, almost pushed me into a tractor trailer, which would've been the death of me and my poor little car. And then on top of that, being the wonderful people they were, after doing all that had the nerve to use a gesture signifying they clearly wish I would've died. Like I did something wrong. Way to be, minivan driver, way to be. Glad to know my life is worth something to you. I love you too.
I'm normally that person that loves every person on the face of the earth, friend or stranger. I love people. But not today. Today, my faith in humanity is gone. Unfortunately, that anxious feeling in my body is not. It scares me how some people change into selfish monsters once they get behind the wheel of a vehicle. =(
I'm alive right now, my car miraculously was untouched, I'm at home resting, and I have wonderful people in my life who make me really happy. And for that, I'm grateful.
Seriously, this is why they need to invent a teleportation system. But I'm very glad you're okay (and Salem's okay too).
ReplyDeleteOh, Sheridan. Jeff walked in just as I was reading your post, and we read it out loud. What is wrong with people?? It takes me so long to process those kinds of things afterward: what kind of moron/ how could they possibly think that was justifiable/ did they possibly think I caused them any inconvenience? I didn't even honk like I should have/ what's happening to people's hearts (there's a great scripture about that)/ what would I have done in hind-sight... THAT'S the tricky one. If I ever come to the conclusion that I would turn the other cheek or forgive, I feel soooo good. But that's so rare, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better about humanity, I just witnessed cars merging from 3 directions (2 parking lots across from each other merging onto one road), and without prompting, we were all taking one-on-one turns. I didn't see even one person trying to just sneak in or pretending they didn't notice the situation so they wouldn't have to let someone in. I was so proud of them.
whoa!!! i'm soooo glad you are ok!!!!
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