Day 11: A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To
Ok, since I'm the boss of this blog, I've decided not to write a letter for day 11. Why, you ask? Because honestly I'm having way too much trouble trying to figure out a person to write to. I was talking with Mom about it, she said she could think of a bunch of people, but probably because she's older and has lost more. I've been to several funerals in the family. I'm close with people who have lost someone very dear to them. And yet I can't think of a thing I'd like to say to any of them. Weird? Idk. I suppose it's because I believe death isn't the end and we're all gonna be together again one day. So what's there to say now? "Hey. Love you. Miss you. Could you send some well wishes my way? You know, cuz you made it home and I'm still here and it gets really confusing sometimes...I need all the help I can get."
I have yet to lose someone very close to me that I want the chance to talk to one more time. Or someone that I wasn't on the best terms with and just wish I could've apologized and made things right. That hasn't happened yet for me.
The other week when the ysas took a trip to D.C., I saw the Lincoln exhibit at the Museum of American History and also the Lincoln Memorial and decided it would've been really fun to talk to Lincoln...does that count? But still, what could I say in a letter to him? "Umm, hi Mr. President, you were one of the greatest presidents in history and have some of the most inspiring quotes I've ever read." He's prolly up there going "yeah, I know...I rocked that". Nah I bet he's super-humble.
Am I being rude or unfeeling right now? I don't mean to. I know death is hard and one day it will really hit me...even knowing they're in a better place, there's gonna be people I'll miss desperately. But I guess the point of this post is, with the exception of a pet, it hasn't yet.
Give it some time. A few more years; a few more life experiences. It'll show up one day. And the hurt and loss will be so crippling and unbearable, and I'll look back on this post and be furious with myself, wishing I could go back to a time like this. Love the people in your lives with your entire heart. Give it away freely. You don't know how long those people will be with you, whether taken by death or ripped from you by grudges and hurt feelings. Love them, tell them how much you appreciate them, thank God for them.
Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Miss You
Dear J,
Funny that you're the person I wish I could see and talk to more, because I just talked to you on the phone last week, and will most likely be spending lots of time with you next weekend at the wedding, if you decide to go. But in normal life, it's not often we hear from each other, thanks to 4 hour distance and busy lives. But I do miss you and care about how you're doing and think of you often, I hope you know that. No matter what happens in life you'll always have your silly old friends from back in the day. As me and S were talking about the other day, we went through the ugly stages together...growing up, middle school, high school, drama, school dances, going to see Harry Potter together with eye-liner lightning scars drawn on our heads. You name it. Even when we're old and grown and far away, I'll think back on those years of my life and think of you and be grateful that you were a part of it and we shared those years together. So when things get tough and you're feeling sad, remember little old me is thinking of you. Love you dearest. =)
Funny that you're the person I wish I could see and talk to more, because I just talked to you on the phone last week, and will most likely be spending lots of time with you next weekend at the wedding, if you decide to go. But in normal life, it's not often we hear from each other, thanks to 4 hour distance and busy lives. But I do miss you and care about how you're doing and think of you often, I hope you know that. No matter what happens in life you'll always have your silly old friends from back in the day. As me and S were talking about the other day, we went through the ugly stages together...growing up, middle school, high school, drama, school dances, going to see Harry Potter together with eye-liner lightning scars drawn on our heads. You name it. Even when we're old and grown and far away, I'll think back on those years of my life and think of you and be grateful that you were a part of it and we shared those years together. So when things get tough and you're feeling sad, remember little old me is thinking of you. Love you dearest. =)
Friday, July 30, 2010
Day 9: Someone I Wish I Could Meet
Hi Pres. Monson,
you don't know me, but in my world we're best friends. You make me feel better when I'm sad, tell the most fantastic stories, give me hope, help me to believe in myself, move me to tears, put a smile on my face and make me laugh. When I hear your voice, I immediately feel like someone just took me by the hand and lifted me up to higher ground, so I see a bit more clearly.
You have this effect on people all over the world. You make everyone feel like a million bucks without ever seeing us in person. I like to imagine that if I ever met you, you'd be jovial, and caring, and truly interested in me. Your love of people as an entire group, no exceptions, is inspiring. And I love that what everyone will remember you for is your desire to leave the 99 and go after the 1 missing. Because occasionally, I'm that lost one. But most often, I'm in the crowd and I'm where I should be, but all my hurts and worries and fears and crying and praying goes to the wandering lost ones in my life. It's comforting to know you understand.
Thank you thank you thank you for your service and all you do. I can't begin to know how much stress and burdens and responsibilities are upon you, but I pray that they are lightened and you remain joyful and healthy.
Love,
Sheridan
you don't know me, but in my world we're best friends. You make me feel better when I'm sad, tell the most fantastic stories, give me hope, help me to believe in myself, move me to tears, put a smile on my face and make me laugh. When I hear your voice, I immediately feel like someone just took me by the hand and lifted me up to higher ground, so I see a bit more clearly.
You have this effect on people all over the world. You make everyone feel like a million bucks without ever seeing us in person. I like to imagine that if I ever met you, you'd be jovial, and caring, and truly interested in me. Your love of people as an entire group, no exceptions, is inspiring. And I love that what everyone will remember you for is your desire to leave the 99 and go after the 1 missing. Because occasionally, I'm that lost one. But most often, I'm in the crowd and I'm where I should be, but all my hurts and worries and fears and crying and praying goes to the wandering lost ones in my life. It's comforting to know you understand.
Thank you thank you thank you for your service and all you do. I can't begin to know how much stress and burdens and responsibilities are upon you, but I pray that they are lightened and you remain joyful and healthy.
Love,
Sheridan
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start, but I'd rather you let me give my heart
Dear friends,
I can't think of a single person that I talk to online and haven't met in person who I could call an "internet friend". So I'm writing to all the wonderful people in my life who unfortunately I rarely get to see and have to resort to the internet as a means of keeping up with them. Thanks for the love, the support, and the comments. Thanks for blog-stalking and facebook-stalking and caring about my life. Thanks for feeling sad cuz I'm sad and being happy cuz I'm happy. And for believing in me and always being on my side. I guess I kind of like you and appreciate you. Maybe. Just a little. ;)
Oh ok, you guys are beautiful and saintly and I probably don't even deserve you. But here I am, blessed with great people in my life. Yay. =)
Love, Me
I can't think of a single person that I talk to online and haven't met in person who I could call an "internet friend". So I'm writing to all the wonderful people in my life who unfortunately I rarely get to see and have to resort to the internet as a means of keeping up with them. Thanks for the love, the support, and the comments. Thanks for blog-stalking and facebook-stalking and caring about my life. Thanks for feeling sad cuz I'm sad and being happy cuz I'm happy. And for believing in me and always being on my side. I guess I kind of like you and appreciate you. Maybe. Just a little. ;)
Oh ok, you guys are beautiful and saintly and I probably don't even deserve you. But here I am, blessed with great people in my life. Yay. =)
Love, Me
Friday, July 23, 2010
You Make Me Smile
Day 7: Letter to an ex
Dear J,
I know you're not really an ex, more like an ex-"fling" of sorts, if you can even call it that, but I decided to write to you anyway. I'm glad we're friends now, and that we were able to put aside all the ridiculous rumors/truths that we heard about each other and try to figure each other out for ourselves. That's a really difficult thing to do. You're a good guy, but I'm glad we decided to be just friends. It was clearly the right choice. Although I hafta admit, if we had actually dated, it would have been HILARIOUS to see the reactions of all the people from our previous place of employment. I'm pretty positive it would've caused an uproar and their minds would've been completely blown. Can you imagine? Haha...but oh well, it wasn't meant to be. And I like where we are. Even though we don't talk much or see each other ever, I know we're cool. Thanks again for not believing everything you hear and trying to get to know me anyway. That meant a lot, and it made me feel better.
Dear J,
I know you're not really an ex, more like an ex-"fling" of sorts, if you can even call it that, but I decided to write to you anyway. I'm glad we're friends now, and that we were able to put aside all the ridiculous rumors/truths that we heard about each other and try to figure each other out for ourselves. That's a really difficult thing to do. You're a good guy, but I'm glad we decided to be just friends. It was clearly the right choice. Although I hafta admit, if we had actually dated, it would have been HILARIOUS to see the reactions of all the people from our previous place of employment. I'm pretty positive it would've caused an uproar and their minds would've been completely blown. Can you imagine? Haha...but oh well, it wasn't meant to be. And I like where we are. Even though we don't talk much or see each other ever, I know we're cool. Thanks again for not believing everything you hear and trying to get to know me anyway. That meant a lot, and it made me feel better.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Life is a highway
Day 6: Letter to a Stranger
Dear random guy in the car next to me on the highway,
you are one of many. Today, we pulled away from being stopped at a red light on the highway, and I was in the left lane trying to speed up to my usual. And then I start getting neck in neck with you, and apparently it would be such an awful horrific thing in your life if someone passed you (in the proper lane) so you take off in front of me. Cool. Did I do anything about it? Nope. Sorry to be a big party-pooping disappointment by not trying to catch you. This happens to me on a daily basis...some stupid kid in an old, unimpressive (often beat-up and ugly) car tries to race with me, or doesn't like being passed, or does that creepy thing where they stay right aside of me and won't go away. At least once a day. So I'm really sorry, but you're nothing new and kind of just SUPER annoying.
Maybe, MAYBE if A. this didn't happen all the time, 2. you actually had a nice car worth racing against or D. you weren't some retard that tries to flirt with girls you'll never see again by leaving them in your dust (which is precisely why you'll never see them again, making it completely pointless) then I might race with you.
So I apologize that in the 4 seconds you were in my life and I didn't even see your face, I found you to be really lame. I know I'm just that irresistible with the wind blowing in my hair in my little civic hybrid singing to my music, and you just feel the need to do something to try and impress me, but next time, try to pass it up. And word of advice, if you're trying to find a girl, go look for her at a party or somewhere fun or even online for goodness sake. Don't try to woo someone you're driving by, because the situation makes it impossible, and you suck at it.
Dear random guy in the car next to me on the highway,
you are one of many. Today, we pulled away from being stopped at a red light on the highway, and I was in the left lane trying to speed up to my usual. And then I start getting neck in neck with you, and apparently it would be such an awful horrific thing in your life if someone passed you (in the proper lane) so you take off in front of me. Cool. Did I do anything about it? Nope. Sorry to be a big party-pooping disappointment by not trying to catch you. This happens to me on a daily basis...some stupid kid in an old, unimpressive (often beat-up and ugly) car tries to race with me, or doesn't like being passed, or does that creepy thing where they stay right aside of me and won't go away. At least once a day. So I'm really sorry, but you're nothing new and kind of just SUPER annoying.
Maybe, MAYBE if A. this didn't happen all the time, 2. you actually had a nice car worth racing against or D. you weren't some retard that tries to flirt with girls you'll never see again by leaving them in your dust (which is precisely why you'll never see them again, making it completely pointless) then I might race with you.
So I apologize that in the 4 seconds you were in my life and I didn't even see your face, I found you to be really lame. I know I'm just that irresistible with the wind blowing in my hair in my little civic hybrid singing to my music, and you just feel the need to do something to try and impress me, but next time, try to pass it up. And word of advice, if you're trying to find a girl, go look for her at a party or somewhere fun or even online for goodness sake. Don't try to woo someone you're driving by, because the situation makes it impossible, and you suck at it.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Dream On
Day 5: Dreams
Dear daydreams,
I'm writing to you, because 80% of the nighttime dreams I remember are nightmarish and awful, and who wants to write to them anyway? You're much more fun. So daydreams...I have quite a few of you. Most of you are about my future. What school I'm gonna go to and when. What degree I'll go back for. My future career. I just want the typical happy life ya know? Go to school, work, find him, get married, try and figure out life together. Have cute babies. Work some more. Complain about work. Love work. Help people and change lives. Spend time with family and friends in someone's backyard on a deck while our kids run wild. And hopefully do some of that before there are kids to run wild. In one word, I want contentment. Or stability, that's another good one. Knowing that what's happening in my life was meant to be and that even when it's tough, things will be ok.
That's what you're all about, daydreams. But you wanna know what's great? No matter how much my mind wanders and I think about all these things and how I'd like it to be...what's actually going to happen is gonna be so much greater than I can possibly imagine. Things won't go exactly according to you or what I think. And that's the way it should be. How boring would life be if it exactly followed the plans we had, always getting what we want? Sometimes we don't even know what we want/what's good for us. And that's why reality will be even better. That includes struggle and monotony and suffering. It will all be perfectly as it should be. Because that's life, and it'll be mine. And as much as I like to meet up with you throughout the day and think about it, it's still just fun and games. Because I can't know how it will really play out.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with my rendezvousing with you about future events. In fact, it's quite healthy, and I will continue doing it on a daily basis. I just have to keep in mind that even though you're really fun and I like you a lot, real life will be different, but unthinkably better. It's a win-win situation. Yay!
Yours Truly
Dear daydreams,
I'm writing to you, because 80% of the nighttime dreams I remember are nightmarish and awful, and who wants to write to them anyway? You're much more fun. So daydreams...I have quite a few of you. Most of you are about my future. What school I'm gonna go to and when. What degree I'll go back for. My future career. I just want the typical happy life ya know? Go to school, work, find him, get married, try and figure out life together. Have cute babies. Work some more. Complain about work. Love work. Help people and change lives. Spend time with family and friends in someone's backyard on a deck while our kids run wild. And hopefully do some of that before there are kids to run wild. In one word, I want contentment. Or stability, that's another good one. Knowing that what's happening in my life was meant to be and that even when it's tough, things will be ok.
That's what you're all about, daydreams. But you wanna know what's great? No matter how much my mind wanders and I think about all these things and how I'd like it to be...what's actually going to happen is gonna be so much greater than I can possibly imagine. Things won't go exactly according to you or what I think. And that's the way it should be. How boring would life be if it exactly followed the plans we had, always getting what we want? Sometimes we don't even know what we want/what's good for us. And that's why reality will be even better. That includes struggle and monotony and suffering. It will all be perfectly as it should be. Because that's life, and it'll be mine. And as much as I like to meet up with you throughout the day and think about it, it's still just fun and games. Because I can't know how it will really play out.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with my rendezvousing with you about future events. In fact, it's quite healthy, and I will continue doing it on a daily basis. I just have to keep in mind that even though you're really fun and I like you a lot, real life will be different, but unthinkably better. It's a win-win situation. Yay!
Yours Truly
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