I wish more of my friends blogged. Or maybe you do and I just have no idea how to find your blogs. So tell me about them, and we can be friends! Email me a link. Or make one right now! It's fun, I promise.
I really really like blogging...now that I've had mine for 2.5 years, I've figured that out. Well ok, I already knew it. But the point is, I'm terrible at it. Not so much at the writing. I don't care if I'm terrible or not at that, I like to do it. I love reading about people and getting to know them and taking a dive into their lives. But only a select few of my friends blog. The part of blogging that I'm truly dissatisfied with is connecting, friendship, empathy. It's not there.
And when I try to find new blogworld friends, it's just a plethora of "look at me in my pretty clothes" blogs, or "look at all the delicious things I cook" blogs (now those I am ok with...many a good recipe I've gotten from them), or "look at how crafty I am and all the things I've made" blogs or "this is my sunshiney life where nothing ever goes wrong and I'm always pretty and happy and my bubble never bursts" blogs or some combination of every one of those blogs plus 10,000 followers and sponsors and money and here let me give away the things I've made or the clothes I'm wearing in this picture and force people to write completely insincere sickly-sweet comments on my page for publicity and follow me on facebook and twitter and pinterest and tumblr and every social networking website known to man and holy crap you have too much time on your hands *Sheridan takes a ginormous breath* and for the life of me I can't find any good, healthy, meat and potatoes, THIS IS MY LIFE blogs.
Where are you? Good bloggers of the world who admit to having normal lives where you're not always pretty and things go wrong and who appreciate and write about all of it, good, bad, beautiful, ugly, hilarious, simple, heartwrenching, giddy....WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish I could find you. =(
2.5 years and I still have no idea what I'm doing on this thing. Anyone more experienced and able to give me some advice? How did you find your blog friends?
Oh and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the friends I do have on here. You are loved.
Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
I'm BA-ACK!
So, the title of this blog is supposed to be I'm back in a sing-song voice, but it kind of just looks like I'm Barack. I am not Barack. For the record.
It has been a loooong time you guys and I've missed blogging. I've heard a few of you miss reading too. =)
Where shall I begin?? I usually start the story somewhere around "MY LIFE IS CRAZY RIGHT NOW....". The end of May/beginning of June, everything literally just exploded. Here's what I remember:
1.) I left New Story.
2.) I started my graduate studies/classes at PCOM.
3.) I didn't have and couldn't find a place to live, or a roommate. I had a place and 2 days before I was going to move in found out I couldn't and was left with no clue what to do.
4.) At the last possible second (quite literally the nite before classes started) a girl sublet her apartment to me for 3 weeks in June in Manayunk. This meant I didn't have to commute the hour and a half drive one way, 3 nites a week for class. Despite an earlier post about Manayunk, I didn't hate it. I was just happy to not be on the street.
5.) School work got DUMPED on me. Papers, papers, and more papers.
6.) I found a roommate and searched high and low for a month trying to find an apartment, looking up a thousand online and going to see a bunch, meanwhile living out of my car and a packed bag most of the time.
7.) Finally found one. A good one. Gated community, 24-hr security guards, pool, gym, 2 miles from school, 10 minutes from center city, and in a safe area.
8.) In that same month that I apartment searched, I didn't have a job, whilst having to pay MASSIVE bills for such things as school and the apartments.
9.) Therefore, I learned (indeed, am still learning) what it meant to be literally broke and not have "2 nickels to rub together".
10.) Got an on-campus job.
11.) Stayed with my sister and her family for a few days after the subletting was over and I couldn't stay in my apartment yet.
12.) Had several emotional, overly stressed-out, I'm-not-going-to-get-through-this, why-is-nothing-working-out-right mental breakdowns.
13.) Moved in.
14.) Managed to have summer fun, meet cool new people, spend time with my friends and family, and have everything just barely, flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, not-til-the-last-nanosecond work out every time.
15.) Best of all, I met Chase. Chronologically that happened before #1. And I don't know how I would've survived without him.
I'll start with 15, since I'm sure those of you that know me well would enjoy more details, those of you who know a little about my life really wanna know what the heck is going on, and those of you that only know my blog are thinking "what happened with that missionary guy she was writing to?" AND also because, Chase happens to be one of my favorite topics of conversation. =)
Boy do I love him. =) Wanna know why? Probably not, but I'm gonna be barfy and tell you anyway. Chase makes me laugh. He respects my opinion, listens to me, and honestly seeks my advice. He hates the thought of hurting my feelings, which never ever happens on purpose, and makes sure to fix it when he does. His eyes sparkle and light up when he looks at me. He has the BEST smile. He constantly looks after me to make sure I'm comfy and he's man enough to do un-manly things like carry my Vera Bradley bag while all the guys make fun of him, or sit down with me in the grass in the middle of the crowded Smithsonian/monument area of Washington D.C. to massage my hurting foot haha. He's mature enough that I've often thought he seems older than me, but he can be a total goofball and act like a kid too. He's lived everywhere and it's impossible to put a label on the man. I like to think of him as a tall, dark, and handsome California surfer boy, but even that makes me laugh because (aside from the tall dark and handsome) that doesn't really describe him at all. He tells the greatest stories, and he tells them well. He stays pretty humble, and he tries his best to do the right thing.
It all began one fateful day at institute when I, not looking for any man and certainly not dressing to impress one (picture: no make up, hair in a fuzzy messy I've-been-chasing-a-special-needs-child-all-day bun, wearing a hoodie and moccasins), met this new boy who all the girls thought was the hottest thing, 2 weeks fresh off his mission. Love at first sight? Not quite. See, he says he saw something in me right off the bat, and so he was intrigued. And I, I thought he was cute, but being content with my life and knowing that about 3 other girls had already staked their claim, I didn't think any more than that. I am not one to pursue, or to hit on hard until I get pursued. And for the record, I am not a man-stealer, nor did the thought ever cross my mind "all the girls want him, I'm going to go after him too and take him away just for sport". I'm sure no one actually thinks that I think that way, but sometimes I get worried. Anyways, a few days later, we sat by each other at a fireside dinner, where he and our friend Ivan were discussing the "perfect girl" (curly hair, cooks good food and bakes delicious cookies, and wears sundresses haha). And I found Chase's strong opinions amusing and so when he spoke of his love for cookies and how he thought a man should come home from work to a plate of cookies everyday, I responded with "yeah? well what if the woman works too?". With little to no hesitation he responded "that's fine. I could be a stay at home dad. I'll make the cookies! Idk how good they'll be though. I really need to find a wife who can cook, because I'm terrible!" I decided he was cute and amusing. A few minutes later he got me a cup of water without being asked just because I mentioned being thirsty, and stood up when we were both done eating and without a word took my plate with him. Seemingly insignificant, but it speaks volumes about who he is, and that was one of the first things I noticed about him that I really liked.
Flash forward a couple days after that, and after institute he chose to sit next to me in a corner booth separate from the crowd at Texas Roadhouse (I will never figure out why everyone ALWAYS goes there, btw). That was the first nite that I really thought "this boy is cute, and I should really start staying after at these things more". I had jumped on the Chase bandwagon, as I liked to call it. Meanwhile, I found out later, in the mind of Chase he thought "I like her. If she stays after, I'm staying after." A week and a half later, an even more fateful weekend occurred, where me, Chase, and our friends Ronnie and Jamison went to a dance in Virginia together on Friday nite. Despite much complaints from the boys about it being the worst dance and nite in the history of ysa activities (I'm not sure why they whined so much to be honest), I had an awesome time hanging out with them. And Saturday evening a group of us all went to the drive-in to see the Avengers and the Hunger Games, sitting in the back of Chase's truck. By the end of the weekend, I was pretty much in love with him. =) He liked me from the get-go, of course. ;)
And so it began. A couple weeks later it was official. And that's the story of how, despite growing tired of ysa activities and beginning to slack off in attending them, I decided to listen to the advice of a dear friend. It is too personal to share, but suffice it to say, it led me to stick it out and keep going to things, and that's how I met my best friend.
Now, does this mean I am a ginormous skank and I broke the heart of my missionary friend Joshua? Or even worse, am I sneaking behind his back and haven't even told him, so someone better do it right now? Am I playing both of them and deserve to be hated by them and all girls everywhere? Or, on the other end of things, have I finally gotten over my sick unhealthy obsession, seen the light, and moved on with my life?
If you said yes for any of the above, or had an opinion similar to any of those, you're a jerk, get off my blog. J/K you can stay here if you want to. Just keep reading.
Josh is still one of my close friends. And I care about him just the same as always. I love his entire family. They are some of the coolest funnest people I know. But things happened about a year ago before he even left that made us realize anything more than friendship at that point was a big mistake. And so keeping options and the future open, we've been nothing more than friends this whole time. Not many people know the truth about that, I guess. Because let's face it, at the time I was pretty upset about how things were going, I didn't really understand it myself, and didn't think people needed to know, so I kept it quiet. I got annoyed because every time I tried to even hint at what was really going on to people, they acted like it was this great tragedy and I immediately didn't know how to explain it. It made me feel bad and I felt like people thought we'd done something wrong, or our love must not be as strong as others and we couldn't handle 2 years apart. But it was nothing like that at all. As for the obsession thing, you are sadly mistaken and I'm not even sure what to tell you to set the record straight on that front, other than....ummm, dude, it wasn't. And I was never in the dark or in denial.
Even now I feel like I don't need to explain myself or this situation in any great detail. People are going to believe and think what they want to about it really, so what's the point? And what is important to me is that all people involved, me, the boys, our families, and our close friends know the truth and we are all cool with it. That is what matters.
So life got crazy for awhile. But I made it through the summer semester with a 4.0, moved into my apartment, got a great-paying job and an interview for another one, and with my friends and my family's support and a wonderful man by my side, I'm stepping out into the light and beginning to settle after trudging through that terrifying whirlwind tunnel that the past couple months have been.
And I cannot even describe to you how grateful I am for all those people, and grateful that they're here, and they're alive, and I get to share life with them, and that we have life. The silent tears that have run down my face say much more than anything I could put on here. And nothing humbles you and opens your eyes more than a car accident, realizing you could lose someone at any second. Scroll down to see Chase's truck. Somehow, despite our flaws, our mistakes, our carelessness, and our deliberate acts of rebellion, Heavenly Father loves us all and more often than we know reaches out his hand and blesses us with miracles big and small.
And I cannot even describe to you how grateful I am for all those people, and grateful that they're here, and they're alive, and I get to share life with them, and that we have life. The silent tears that have run down my face say much more than anything I could put on here. And nothing humbles you and opens your eyes more than a car accident, realizing you could lose someone at any second. Scroll down to see Chase's truck. Somehow, despite our flaws, our mistakes, our carelessness, and our deliberate acts of rebellion, Heavenly Father loves us all and more often than we know reaches out his hand and blesses us with miracles big and small.
Here, have a few pictures from some of this summer's adventures:
Sydney and the pinata Patsy got for Syd and Steve's first anniversary party.
Ellen being a b.a. and showing a red-tailed hawk while teaching a class at Hawk Mountain.
Chase and I soaking wet after getting caught in storms hiking at Hawk Mountain.
Chase driving his truck on the way home from moving me in. Sticking his head out the window so he could have crazy hair haha. This is my favorite picture of him because of the joke-serious expression on his face.
Waiting in line at Dumser's in Ocean City. Such a ridiculous picture...somehow the camera angle gave me a horse face. Or maybe I moved it right when I snapped the picture and so it made the bottom half of my face blurry and stretched out. Either way, I look ridonkulous but it cracks me up.
Chase's poor totaled truck. =(
Sunset on the way back to Susanne's after class one evening. Pretty darn good considering I took this while driving on the freeway.
Banana cream pie from scratch that I made. Mmmm delicious.
At the Gettysburg conference dance.
Playing in the creek in East Berlin.
I really wanted those pants (they are green if you can't tell) and Chase bought them for me. As you can see, I am pretty stinkin happy about them. Also, my legs are not really that short.
Super-cute edible arrangement that Suzi (my roommate) got me as a thank you for finding the apartment.
The new cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory: Oreo dream extreme. Delicious!
Rainbow out my parent's front door. It was raining in the front yard and not in the back.
And that's all for now folks! It's good to be back.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
The deuteronomy bag from the barn dance
Lately I've been chuckling to myself about a story that happened a little while back, and I do so enjoy telling stories on here so I thought I would share to the blog world. Hopefully the cause for the humor never reads this story.
Once upon a time about 8 months ago, as most of you know, this guy I'd been dating for awhile named Josh left to serve his mission in Brasil. And this is what happened, 3 days later.
The ysa were having one of our regional activities, and it was the barn dance up at Penn State. I was having a rough time getting used to the change of being with someone all the time to the whole "see ya in 2 years, maybe, cuz who knows if anything will ever be the same again, soo love ya see ya bye!" thing. But for 3 days I held up pretty well. There had been no tears, no breakdowns, no whining, no ridiculousness on my part. I mostly went to the barn dance cuz it meant our annual trip to the Berkey Creamery, home of the most delicioso ice cream on earth. Also, I like to dance.
Well, the whole event got boring for me and I decided to hang with my dj friend Ivan/hide from anyone on the prowl and sit in the corner behind the dj table. And Ivan's a popular guy, right? So I guess my plan wasn't the best, because everyone comes up and wants to talk to him and sits with him. And along came this guy, let's call him Matt, because he reminds me of a Matt I know. Matt was talking to Ivan, but I soon realized Matt was sitting there talking to Ivan to get to me. Joy! He introduces himself, all the while giving me this look like he's the cat and I'm the mouse-prey that he's playing with and mildly amused by. If there's one thing I hate, it's when a guy looks at me like he's the smartest human being on the planet and every word out of my mouth is amusing and deserves to be mocked.
I wasn't interested in Matt, and I acted like it. Normally I'm still a friendly polite person, but given the circumstances, I didn't go out of my way to be like that for him. After small talk that I don't really remember, because of not being interested, I remember him asking me if I would dance with him if he asked me later. And me, who never turns down a dance no matter what said "sure". Then he proceeds to say "I might not ask you though, so don't get your hopes up. I'll think about it. So maybe I will. Maybe I won't" To which I responded with an I-could-not-care-less "ok", but inwardly (and ok, maybe outwardly too) was giving him the "what the...??" face. Actually outwardly I think I smiled and laughed like "oh AHAHAHAH aren't you so funny". And he got up and left and I hoped he'd just not come back after that.
He came back. The next slow song, I'm pretty sure. He claimed he would've just felt like a terrible person if he didn't ask me after getting my hopes up talking to me earlier. I guess he had me pegged as the shy girl that never gets any attention from guys...haha. I didn't really know what to say. I mean, really, what do you say? I think all that came out of my mouth was "oh ok".
So we go to the dance floor and start dancing, and do you wanna know the very first question he asks me? He knew my name and my age at that point, and that was about it. He asks me, "soo, do you watch rated R movies?".
RED. FLAG.
Bad first question. Bad bad bad. To my non-LDS friends, let me explain. In our church we're cautioned to beware of what we watch, and take care to not watch anything grossly inappropriate or violent, however, rated R movies aren't forbidden. It's a personal choice, and some people just choose to stay away from all R-rated movies entirely. Other people don't. I've watched a few, but the majority of them I won't because I know they'd make me angry and/or gross me out in some way or another.
Now, the reason I saw this as a red flag...while I'm not against watching R-rated movies, and while it is a fair and normal question when asked at an appropriate time, that was just it, the timing was all wrong. It gave me the vibe that what he wanted to know about me first and foremost is, do I honestly and sincerely try to live my faith to the best of my ability, or do I take a more blase approach and pick and choose the parts I feel like following, when I feel like doing it. And I've learned that people who nit-pick about tiny things have a bigger problem, if that makes sense.
So back to the story. I was kind of taken aback by the question and so I said "yeah. Well, I mean, some of them. Not like, all of them...or anything." Which prompted a little amused smile that I wanted to smack right off his face. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, other than him saying half way through the dance "you're not one for talking are you?" (Incorrect, sir.) I said, "umm, no, actually I talk a lot" (I just don't like you.) I mainly remember figuring he would leave me alone after that because he probably viewed me as a socially awkward and unintelligent girl, and I really didn't care if he did.
Alas, I apparently passed his test and in his mind met his standards.
He wasn't measuring up to mine.
At the end of the dance, he asked if I would be cool with going out on a date with him sometime. And I'm so conditioned to saying yes to a first date that I immediately put on the fake smile once again and said "yeah, sure, that would be great!" (This reminds me of that episode of Friends when Chandler can't break up with Rachel's boss because he keeps accidentally/automatically ending every conversation with "so yeah this was great, we should do it again sometime!" even after he breaks up with her.) Matt wanted my phone number, but his phone was dead, so he gave me his number and I put it in mine and he said he'd look me up on facebook. And he finally left. I think it was a tender mercy of the Lord that he did NOT get my phone number haha.
Now, to be fair. I don't expect the guys I date to be perfect, and I didn't hate Matt or anything. I've been incorrect about people and so even though I thought I saw a red flag, normally I would give someone a chance. Had this happened in the present, I would've gone on a date with him. But it happened THREE DAYS after saying goodbye to someone I really care about and I was still only just beginning to get used to him not being around anymore. And Matt just did not compare to him. In fact, he was kind of creepy. And so, after Matt walked away, the tears started welling up, and I ran to the bathroom sniffling and cried my eyes out in there. Here I was thinking I was handling it well.
Haha everyone usually laughs at me when I get to that part of the story, but it was traumatic guys, ok?
I went home, once again hoping nothing would come of this and knowing full-well I would never send this kid a single text message. Almost a whole day passed and I started thinking my wish might just come true. Alas, that evening a notification on my phone pops up for facebook, and guess who friend requested me? Despite the sense of dread I felt the moment I saw that request, I accepted it. Don't worry, only wonderfully hilarious things came out of that decision.
The first thing I did was get on a few event pages like Tuckahoe and invite him, not because I was hoping to see him but because when I meet new ysa I always just invite them to everything. Sometimes I do it in hopes that creepers will go to these things and find a nice girl and live happily ever after. Haha now you know my secret. But really, I just try to invite everyone. After sending out some invites, I forgot about him. Until....
About 2 days later, I receive a facebook message from him, saying, "I'm kind of surprised I haven't received a text yet. Also, I'm even more surprised you sent me some invites to 2 random ysa activities. I had no idea you were wrapped up in that."
"Wrapped up"? Like my calling is some kind of awful trap I got sucked into and can't get out of? Like all my wonderful friends from ysa have some disease? Lame, Matt. LAME. So I responded with a why yes, I'm a stake rep, I plan activities and love the ysa program because it changed my life, thankyouverymuch. And then I explained my situation and told him I didn't wanna date him, but I'm cool with having friends and we can get to know each other that way.
Do you think he took it well? If you said yes, you're just silly. If you said no, you're partially correct. If you just shook your head and laughed and thought, "he probably acted like a complete douchebag" you are the closest.
In a tone that even thru email came across as ice-cold, he gave me strict orders to not hand out his phone number or send out any more invites to activities, because he is VERY careful about who he gives his number to (yeahokay) and he's not a fan of ysa activities, doesn't want to hear about it, and doesn't want anyone else contacting him about it. He told me my situation was a shame and said "I do kind of feel bad for you because well...I'm pretty awesome" (HAHA Matt, this is the first time you really made me laugh!). Also "maybe I'll see you around somewhere in the future" (highly doubt it if you bite people's heads off whenever they send you an invite bud). And then in some ridiculous attempt to hurt my feelings told me if he should happen to delete me as a facebook friend, I should not take it personally, and if this comes across harsh, it's only because he likes to be straightforward.
Which part did you like best? I personally laughed out loud over the I pity you because I'm awesome line. That took the cake for me. Although the I'm-so-hurt-I-need-to-hurt-you-back-and-deny-your-invitation-to-be-friends thing was pretty fantastic too. I was laughing about it the rest of the day. True to his word, a couple weeks later he deleted me. And this time I was the one who had a small amused smirk on my face. ;)
And that's the story that came to be known as "the douchebag from the barn dance". Or, to use missionary-friendly terms that my friend Juan came up with, deuteronomy bag.
Some day I will tell you all of the story that happened 1 day after this one blew over (approx 4 days after the barn dance) involving a second guy.
At the beginning of this post I mentioned that I hope the cause of the humor never reads this. If he does, do your best Larry the Cable Guy impression as you read this: "well I don't care who you are, that's funny right there."
Thanks 'Matt', for a story that'll be around for a really long time.
Once upon a time about 8 months ago, as most of you know, this guy I'd been dating for awhile named Josh left to serve his mission in Brasil. And this is what happened, 3 days later.
The ysa were having one of our regional activities, and it was the barn dance up at Penn State. I was having a rough time getting used to the change of being with someone all the time to the whole "see ya in 2 years, maybe, cuz who knows if anything will ever be the same again, soo love ya see ya bye!" thing. But for 3 days I held up pretty well. There had been no tears, no breakdowns, no whining, no ridiculousness on my part. I mostly went to the barn dance cuz it meant our annual trip to the Berkey Creamery, home of the most delicioso ice cream on earth. Also, I like to dance.
Well, the whole event got boring for me and I decided to hang with my dj friend Ivan/hide from anyone on the prowl and sit in the corner behind the dj table. And Ivan's a popular guy, right? So I guess my plan wasn't the best, because everyone comes up and wants to talk to him and sits with him. And along came this guy, let's call him Matt, because he reminds me of a Matt I know. Matt was talking to Ivan, but I soon realized Matt was sitting there talking to Ivan to get to me. Joy! He introduces himself, all the while giving me this look like he's the cat and I'm the mouse-prey that he's playing with and mildly amused by. If there's one thing I hate, it's when a guy looks at me like he's the smartest human being on the planet and every word out of my mouth is amusing and deserves to be mocked.
I wasn't interested in Matt, and I acted like it. Normally I'm still a friendly polite person, but given the circumstances, I didn't go out of my way to be like that for him. After small talk that I don't really remember, because of not being interested, I remember him asking me if I would dance with him if he asked me later. And me, who never turns down a dance no matter what said "sure". Then he proceeds to say "I might not ask you though, so don't get your hopes up. I'll think about it. So maybe I will. Maybe I won't" To which I responded with an I-could-not-care-less "ok", but inwardly (and ok, maybe outwardly too) was giving him the "what the...??" face. Actually outwardly I think I smiled and laughed like "oh AHAHAHAH aren't you so funny". And he got up and left and I hoped he'd just not come back after that.
He came back. The next slow song, I'm pretty sure. He claimed he would've just felt like a terrible person if he didn't ask me after getting my hopes up talking to me earlier. I guess he had me pegged as the shy girl that never gets any attention from guys...haha. I didn't really know what to say. I mean, really, what do you say? I think all that came out of my mouth was "oh ok".
So we go to the dance floor and start dancing, and do you wanna know the very first question he asks me? He knew my name and my age at that point, and that was about it. He asks me, "soo, do you watch rated R movies?".
RED. FLAG.
Bad first question. Bad bad bad. To my non-LDS friends, let me explain. In our church we're cautioned to beware of what we watch, and take care to not watch anything grossly inappropriate or violent, however, rated R movies aren't forbidden. It's a personal choice, and some people just choose to stay away from all R-rated movies entirely. Other people don't. I've watched a few, but the majority of them I won't because I know they'd make me angry and/or gross me out in some way or another.
Now, the reason I saw this as a red flag...while I'm not against watching R-rated movies, and while it is a fair and normal question when asked at an appropriate time, that was just it, the timing was all wrong. It gave me the vibe that what he wanted to know about me first and foremost is, do I honestly and sincerely try to live my faith to the best of my ability, or do I take a more blase approach and pick and choose the parts I feel like following, when I feel like doing it. And I've learned that people who nit-pick about tiny things have a bigger problem, if that makes sense.
So back to the story. I was kind of taken aback by the question and so I said "yeah. Well, I mean, some of them. Not like, all of them...or anything." Which prompted a little amused smile that I wanted to smack right off his face. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, other than him saying half way through the dance "you're not one for talking are you?" (Incorrect, sir.) I said, "umm, no, actually I talk a lot" (I just don't like you.) I mainly remember figuring he would leave me alone after that because he probably viewed me as a socially awkward and unintelligent girl, and I really didn't care if he did.
Alas, I apparently passed his test and in his mind met his standards.
He wasn't measuring up to mine.
At the end of the dance, he asked if I would be cool with going out on a date with him sometime. And I'm so conditioned to saying yes to a first date that I immediately put on the fake smile once again and said "yeah, sure, that would be great!" (This reminds me of that episode of Friends when Chandler can't break up with Rachel's boss because he keeps accidentally/automatically ending every conversation with "so yeah this was great, we should do it again sometime!" even after he breaks up with her.) Matt wanted my phone number, but his phone was dead, so he gave me his number and I put it in mine and he said he'd look me up on facebook. And he finally left. I think it was a tender mercy of the Lord that he did NOT get my phone number haha.
Now, to be fair. I don't expect the guys I date to be perfect, and I didn't hate Matt or anything. I've been incorrect about people and so even though I thought I saw a red flag, normally I would give someone a chance. Had this happened in the present, I would've gone on a date with him. But it happened THREE DAYS after saying goodbye to someone I really care about and I was still only just beginning to get used to him not being around anymore. And Matt just did not compare to him. In fact, he was kind of creepy. And so, after Matt walked away, the tears started welling up, and I ran to the bathroom sniffling and cried my eyes out in there. Here I was thinking I was handling it well.
Haha everyone usually laughs at me when I get to that part of the story, but it was traumatic guys, ok?
I went home, once again hoping nothing would come of this and knowing full-well I would never send this kid a single text message. Almost a whole day passed and I started thinking my wish might just come true. Alas, that evening a notification on my phone pops up for facebook, and guess who friend requested me? Despite the sense of dread I felt the moment I saw that request, I accepted it. Don't worry, only wonderfully hilarious things came out of that decision.
The first thing I did was get on a few event pages like Tuckahoe and invite him, not because I was hoping to see him but because when I meet new ysa I always just invite them to everything. Sometimes I do it in hopes that creepers will go to these things and find a nice girl and live happily ever after. Haha now you know my secret. But really, I just try to invite everyone. After sending out some invites, I forgot about him. Until....
About 2 days later, I receive a facebook message from him, saying, "I'm kind of surprised I haven't received a text yet. Also, I'm even more surprised you sent me some invites to 2 random ysa activities. I had no idea you were wrapped up in that."
"Wrapped up"? Like my calling is some kind of awful trap I got sucked into and can't get out of? Like all my wonderful friends from ysa have some disease? Lame, Matt. LAME. So I responded with a why yes, I'm a stake rep, I plan activities and love the ysa program because it changed my life, thankyouverymuch. And then I explained my situation and told him I didn't wanna date him, but I'm cool with having friends and we can get to know each other that way.
Do you think he took it well? If you said yes, you're just silly. If you said no, you're partially correct. If you just shook your head and laughed and thought, "he probably acted like a complete douchebag" you are the closest.
In a tone that even thru email came across as ice-cold, he gave me strict orders to not hand out his phone number or send out any more invites to activities, because he is VERY careful about who he gives his number to (yeahokay) and he's not a fan of ysa activities, doesn't want to hear about it, and doesn't want anyone else contacting him about it. He told me my situation was a shame and said "I do kind of feel bad for you because well...I'm pretty awesome" (HAHA Matt, this is the first time you really made me laugh!). Also "maybe I'll see you around somewhere in the future" (highly doubt it if you bite people's heads off whenever they send you an invite bud). And then in some ridiculous attempt to hurt my feelings told me if he should happen to delete me as a facebook friend, I should not take it personally, and if this comes across harsh, it's only because he likes to be straightforward.
Which part did you like best? I personally laughed out loud over the I pity you because I'm awesome line. That took the cake for me. Although the I'm-so-hurt-I-need-to-hurt-you-back-and-deny-your-invitation-to-be-friends thing was pretty fantastic too. I was laughing about it the rest of the day. True to his word, a couple weeks later he deleted me. And this time I was the one who had a small amused smirk on my face. ;)
And that's the story that came to be known as "the douchebag from the barn dance". Or, to use missionary-friendly terms that my friend Juan came up with, deuteronomy bag.
Some day I will tell you all of the story that happened 1 day after this one blew over (approx 4 days after the barn dance) involving a second guy.
At the beginning of this post I mentioned that I hope the cause of the humor never reads this. If he does, do your best Larry the Cable Guy impression as you read this: "well I don't care who you are, that's funny right there."
Thanks 'Matt', for a story that'll be around for a really long time.
Logan's Run
Alright, so...about 2 and a half months ago I up and decided I was gonna run a 5k, right?
Here's the post where it all began: So I'm a runner now...barf
For about 3-4 weeks I "trained", if you can even call it that. I really had no idea what I was doing haha. I got up and ran most mornings, having not run in years and years. I only ran the actual 5k distance twice. Usually I only ran 1.5 miles, sometimes not even that much. The 2 weeks leading up to the race, I got lazy, I got a cold for part of it, and didn't run a single time, yikes! Haha it was so bad.
That being said, I told myself I would do this thing to support the kiddos at work, and so, on April 14th in Harrisburg, I did it. Here are the before shots:
There were about 300 people in the race and we started it by going across the footbridge from City Island to Front Street. I got caught up in the moment and overworked myself at the very start, which for you non-runners means you end up being worn out and tired and slower than normal for the entire race. Woohoo! haha
I also felt like I was going to break my leg on the bridge, because 300 people running on it all at once causes some pretty serious waves and shaking (this is a really big metal bridge, btw), and it kept coming up to meet my feet before I expected it to and it felt SO WEIRD. I literally ran on my toes doing high-knees across the entire thing but it didn't help much.
With all the negatives aside, I pushed through the whole race, passed 2 people I had made a goal to get in front of, and finished in 34 minutes, coming in 206th out of the 300. I missed my goal of 30 minutes, but I didn't care! I was so proud of myself! =) Plus, my previous fastest time was 35 minutes.
I would like to try it again sometime soon...I've since learned some tips to properly train, like doing interval training and lots of sprints, so that's my next goal and I'm excited to see it happen! Next goal: 27 minutes. And more than 6 weeks to get ready haha!
Here's the post where it all began: So I'm a runner now...barf
For about 3-4 weeks I "trained", if you can even call it that. I really had no idea what I was doing haha. I got up and ran most mornings, having not run in years and years. I only ran the actual 5k distance twice. Usually I only ran 1.5 miles, sometimes not even that much. The 2 weeks leading up to the race, I got lazy, I got a cold for part of it, and didn't run a single time, yikes! Haha it was so bad.
That being said, I told myself I would do this thing to support the kiddos at work, and so, on April 14th in Harrisburg, I did it. Here are the before shots:
There were about 300 people in the race and we started it by going across the footbridge from City Island to Front Street. I got caught up in the moment and overworked myself at the very start, which for you non-runners means you end up being worn out and tired and slower than normal for the entire race. Woohoo! haha
I also felt like I was going to break my leg on the bridge, because 300 people running on it all at once causes some pretty serious waves and shaking (this is a really big metal bridge, btw), and it kept coming up to meet my feet before I expected it to and it felt SO WEIRD. I literally ran on my toes doing high-knees across the entire thing but it didn't help much.
With all the negatives aside, I pushed through the whole race, passed 2 people I had made a goal to get in front of, and finished in 34 minutes, coming in 206th out of the 300. I missed my goal of 30 minutes, but I didn't care! I was so proud of myself! =) Plus, my previous fastest time was 35 minutes.
I would like to try it again sometime soon...I've since learned some tips to properly train, like doing interval training and lots of sprints, so that's my next goal and I'm excited to see it happen! Next goal: 27 minutes. And more than 6 weeks to get ready haha!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Today was weird...
This post is a story about yesterday, the 25th. It just took me forever to finish:
It's a few days since my last post and I'm still going through the whole emotional thing, just so ya know.
a. When it comes to living and traveling, I am not a city girl, no sir. I like to hang out in cities, and it's definitely cool to be near one. But I don't need to live in one. In fact I think I refuse. Suburbs and public transportation are perfect, thank you.
Good, bad, stressful, weird...whatever today was, I'm just glad it's over.
P.S. News of my 5k will be coming very soon. ;)
It's a few days since my last post and I'm still going through the whole emotional thing, just so ya know.
I had one of those days that's so hard to describe, or there are so many adjectives that come to mind at once to describe it, that all you can say is...weird.
How shall I begin?
I had an interview today at 11 with a medical staffing agency in center cilly Phitty. Teehee. And I mean the very center. As in, the little section of the city that is square and City Hall is in the middle of it. That's where it was at. Before I left this morning I google-mapped the route, not because I didn't know how to get there (I have a gps anyway) but because they now show you traffic delays. First lesson learned, don't listen to google map traffic delays. At least not if you're driving to Philly. No matter what it says, anything, anything at all, is better than driving on the Schuykill Express aka 76. Even jumping into the Schuykill river itself and doggy-paddling down it would get you there faster and help you keep your sanity longer. For those of you from around here thinking "durrr didn't you know that?". Yes, yes I did. But google maps fooled me into thinking the alternate routes had worse traffic. Don't ever believe that for a minute, folks.
So after getting off the turnpike with the possibility that it didn't register my ez pass and I'll have to pay a $50 fine, I was already thinking, "this trip sucks". Then I'm driving down 76 and too soon I thought "wow I don't think traffic has ever been so light on this road!" I made it all the way to the exit for City Ave where PCOM is, and soon after that, I hit a wall of traffic. I was literally 5 miles from my destination, and it was 9:45AM. I had basically an extra hour, so no biggie, right? WRONG. An hour later I had moved 3 miles closer. I can handle city driving no problem. I'm pretty good at it actually. But city traffic? It brings out a whole other awful side of me. And I'm proud of myself because I actually kept cool for most of it...until I realized I was going to be late. Ugh. At 11:15 I finally reached the place and still had to find somewhere to park. I had hoped to have time to sniff around for a free/cheap spot. Instead frustrated, desperate and in an "I don't care anymore" mood I pulled into a valet parking garage a few buildings down, parked the car with windows down at the entrance, practically threw my keys at the guy and ran off, not even caring that my car had garbage everywhere in it, as well as valuables. (And btw, I gave my entire key ring with ALL of my keys. Not my extra valet key. I just now realized this.) I distinctly remember thinking "I don't even care if my car gets stolen right now, I'M 30 MINUTES LATE FOR MY INTERVIEW. I'll worry about my car later". HAHAHA. I think I was certifiably crazy at that point. Other thoughts that were further back in my head nagging: "what if this is like Ferris Bueller? I just gave my keys, and left my car...to a totally shady dude. Is that how you're supposed to do it? Am I forgetting anything? I just gave my car to some guy. AND it's open with stuff in it in public on the busiest street in the entire city of Philadelphia with 50,000 people walking around. This is gonna cost so much...if I even get my car back. I don't care how much this will cost, let me just get to this dang interview."
The interview was ok. I'm pretty certain once all the papers are in, I'll get offered a spot. But it was weird because 50 minutes out of the hour I was there was just filling out an application and other paperwork and it sort of seemed pointless because I'll most likely have to go back, again. Maybe I can convince the woman to just do it over the phone, she seemed cool about things and she knows I don't live in the area yet.
And that's really all I have to say about that part of my day, the whole reason I drove there.
Well, I got back to the parking garage, paid $18 for being there an hour and ten minutes (just missed the much cheaper hour rate), and waited at the exit while someone went to drive my car down. That's when I became a little more aware of my surroundings for the first time, and it was laughably awkward because it was clearly a rich people parking garage. Everyone around me was dressed in suits and business attire, and every car that was parked was black, shiny, leather-seated and window-tinted...Mercedes, Lexi (plural of Lexus haha) Audis etc. One of the guys working there was standing near me and at first I didn't even notice him because I was somewhat staring off in my own little world. But he asked me how my day was and snapped me out of it and we ended up talking until my car got there. He was one of those people that's just immediately likeable, and I didn't notice until later that he brightened my day and took away some of the anxiety and dread and replaced it with calm and a little more clarity. But the best part was when an attendant pulled up with my dinky, opaque-from-dirt, little blue garbage-filled civic next to all those other cars. I felt so awesome. And I was worried my car would get taken...who in that parking garage would've wanted it? But I marched to my car and played it cool like it was a Rolls Royce and I did this everyday, while all the rich people looked on (and probably laughed at me). And hey, you know what? Even if it were a Ferris Bueller situation, my car would've been last on the list of "ooh let's drive that one around!" for one, and for two, even if I were driving a Ferrari, they knew I was only going to be gone an hour and in that traffic, they would've made it a block away and back.
My next stop was Jim's on South and 4th streets for cheesesteaks. the people working there were really awesome and friendly and just for the 10 minutes I was there it made me really happy to talk to them. Picture an over-the-top flirty, over weight, 35ish-year-old latino man, and you've got an idea. Plus I got a cherry coke (my favorite) for a dollar. AND the parking lot on the street right behind the restaurant was only charging a dollar per hour. Walked outta there with my head held a little higher feeling a little better about myself.
This sounds ridiculous but despite big plans to do lots of other exciting things, by then I was already really exhausted. The drive there emotionally drained me. So lastly I wanted to check out the Manayunk and Germantown areas, because that's where I've been looking into getting a place to live. I made it about 10 yards into Manayunk and knew that I absolutely did not want to live there. Period. Can't exactly tell you why, I just knew. So from there I headed home. On a non-toll highway, since I've decided the turnpike and ez pass currently hate me.
So here's why today was weird:
1.) It really really sucked. I drove all the way to Philly for an interview that turned out to not really be much of an interview at all. On my way there I may or may not have accidently slipped thru the ez pass and will get charged for it. I drove through emotionally traumatic traffic and just completely freaked out over being late. I was so distraught over running late I carelessly handed my car (and every key I own) off in the most expensive parking garage in the state of Pennsylvania and ran to my interview sweaty and tired and grumpy. I spent an hour filling out paper work. I had trouble feeling calm or cheerful the rest of the day, and after a few short stops, wanted to get the heck outta there.
2.) It somehow turned out to be a good day too. On the drive home as I was thinking about it all, it occured to me "I met the nicest, friendliest people today" and all of a sudden I started bawling. I didn't realize at first how disappointing everything really was, how much I was holding in, and what a difficult time I was having. I could perfectly see myself from their point of view, the crappiness of my day clearly evident on my face, looking down at the ground dejectedly, lost in thought. But in the end it wasn't so crappy. My day was saved by the kindness of random strangers.
3.) The parking garage story ended up being really excellent. One of those that I'll be telling for probably the rest of my life. My mom told my Grandpa about it and she said the thought of my car all alone among a fleet of shnazzy shiny expensive cars had him laughing so hard he couldn't stop for awhile.
3.) The parking garage story ended up being really excellent. One of those that I'll be telling for probably the rest of my life. My mom told my Grandpa about it and she said the thought of my car all alone among a fleet of shnazzy shiny expensive cars had him laughing so hard he couldn't stop for awhile.
4.) Out of just about every bad thing that happened, I learned or figured something out that will really help:
a. When it comes to living and traveling, I am not a city girl, no sir. I like to hang out in cities, and it's definitely cool to be near one. But I don't need to live in one. In fact I think I refuse. Suburbs and public transportation are perfect, thank you.
b. The good news is PCOM is on the edge of the city on the west shore of the Schuykill and if I live on the west side in Delaware county, I'm in a calmer section but still close enough to go do fun things in the city. So I've figured out where I should live that's perfect for me, and realized where I don't need to be.
c. I also would prefer to work/have clients in surrounding areas of the city. Working with a high-risk client is already emotionally draining. And if driving in traffic wears me out that much, there's no way I'll be able to handle driving into the city thru traffic like that and pay insane amounts for parking every time in order to start a session with a client. I'll already be dead before I even see them and won't be able to do my job properly.
c. I also would prefer to work/have clients in surrounding areas of the city. Working with a high-risk client is already emotionally draining. And if driving in traffic wears me out that much, there's no way I'll be able to handle driving into the city thru traffic like that and pay insane amounts for parking every time in order to start a session with a client. I'll already be dead before I even see them and won't be able to do my job properly.
d. If I get the job with that company, I know where they're located now. And will take the metro and walk there! (And can hopefully use that in case I end up with a city client anyway.)
e. I still really like this place, the food, the history, and especially after today, the people!
f. Everything bad has a good outcome.
Good, bad, stressful, weird...whatever today was, I'm just glad it's over.
P.S. News of my 5k will be coming very soon. ;)
Friday, April 20, 2012
Waa Waa Boo Hoo I'm a Baby
So...it's been awhile. This is really sad, but the other day a friend of mine said "hey, I just started reading your blog!" and I literally thought to myself "whaa? oh yeah! I have a blog!". It's only been a month since I posted, not like an entire year or anything. What the heck, self? I think I've been more overwhelmed than I realize lately. Then I get here and everything is so different it almost scared me away. I'm turning into my grandmother.
Mom can't use her cell phone to talk to Grandma. Well, she can, but if Grandma finds out she's talking to someone who is using a cell phone and not a landline, she gets all quiet and shy and suddenly doesn't wanna talk anymore. 5 minutes into the conversation: "Are you on your cell phone?" "Yeah" "Oh..." *silence* Haha! Like it makes a difference. Oh technology and change.
Speaking of change, that's my life right now. It just hit me a few days ago that in 2 months (less, now), I will be starting my graduate studies. And immediately after I realized that my mind said "omgosh OMGOSH I have 2 months TWO MONTHS I'm going back to school I HAVE NO MONEY. I have to move to Philly. I need a new job. I need a second job. I HAVE NO MONEY. *starts looking at places to live* I can't get a place to live until I know I have a job there first. *starts applying to jobs* what if I get a job and I can't find a place to live?? I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. I HAVE NO MONEY. WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?
I have since calmed down. A little bit anyway. I suppose what's weirding me out is that I'm ready for an adventure but at the same time I want to keep everything here. Keep things just the way they are. And I can't have both.
I have 2 interviews lined up in the next 2 weeks that unfortunately I have to call off work and drive all the way to Philadelphia for. But if I get a job it'll be worth the sacrifice. And then I think other things will start falling into place from there. Here's hoping.
And curse you Mother Nature for turning me into an emotional mess once a month. Good gravy. YOU ARE NOT HELPING THINGS AT ALL. I don't get mean or angry or short-tempered. I just get SUPER emotional and sensitive. Blech. I randomly broke down and cried tonite, and I felt like a 15 year old, because this is what I think I cried about (I don't even know for sure, and hint, these things are all either blatantly false or over-dramatized): friends liking other friends better than me, my dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and now a friend is in the hospital and I didn't even know at first and life is just stressful, feeling excluded, NOT HAVING ANY MONEY (haha sorry I had to), feeling inferior to every girl, every runner, every TSS, EVERYONE, how much it sucks and how difficult it is to write/support/care about a missionary (this is *sniff* like, the HARDEST thing in the WORLD), I love these people and they don't love me back, NOBODY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD EVEN LIKES ME, and my parents being sweethearts and getting me take-out when they went out to eat and nothing the place had sounded good. Etc.
Whew. I feel better now. And I know my friends like me. And the food my parents brought home was really good. And the world doesn't revolve around me and I know that and am fine with it. And everything will be ok and it'll all work out. Just gotta keep telling myself that.
Sorry for this incredibly lame and ridiculous post. Welcome back to my blog. I'm gonna go watch Sense and Sensibility now and cry some more.
Mom can't use her cell phone to talk to Grandma. Well, she can, but if Grandma finds out she's talking to someone who is using a cell phone and not a landline, she gets all quiet and shy and suddenly doesn't wanna talk anymore. 5 minutes into the conversation: "Are you on your cell phone?" "Yeah" "Oh..." *silence* Haha! Like it makes a difference. Oh technology and change.
Speaking of change, that's my life right now. It just hit me a few days ago that in 2 months (less, now), I will be starting my graduate studies. And immediately after I realized that my mind said "omgosh OMGOSH I have 2 months TWO MONTHS I'm going back to school I HAVE NO MONEY. I have to move to Philly. I need a new job. I need a second job. I HAVE NO MONEY. *starts looking at places to live* I can't get a place to live until I know I have a job there first. *starts applying to jobs* what if I get a job and I can't find a place to live?? I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. I HAVE NO MONEY. WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?
I have since calmed down. A little bit anyway. I suppose what's weirding me out is that I'm ready for an adventure but at the same time I want to keep everything here. Keep things just the way they are. And I can't have both.
I have 2 interviews lined up in the next 2 weeks that unfortunately I have to call off work and drive all the way to Philadelphia for. But if I get a job it'll be worth the sacrifice. And then I think other things will start falling into place from there. Here's hoping.
And curse you Mother Nature for turning me into an emotional mess once a month. Good gravy. YOU ARE NOT HELPING THINGS AT ALL. I don't get mean or angry or short-tempered. I just get SUPER emotional and sensitive. Blech. I randomly broke down and cried tonite, and I felt like a 15 year old, because this is what I think I cried about (I don't even know for sure, and hint, these things are all either blatantly false or over-dramatized): friends liking other friends better than me, my dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and now a friend is in the hospital and I didn't even know at first and life is just stressful, feeling excluded, NOT HAVING ANY MONEY (haha sorry I had to), feeling inferior to every girl, every runner, every TSS, EVERYONE, how much it sucks and how difficult it is to write/support/care about a missionary (this is *sniff* like, the HARDEST thing in the WORLD), I love these people and they don't love me back, NOBODY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD EVEN LIKES ME, and my parents being sweethearts and getting me take-out when they went out to eat and nothing the place had sounded good. Etc.
Whew. I feel better now. And I know my friends like me. And the food my parents brought home was really good. And the world doesn't revolve around me and I know that and am fine with it. And everything will be ok and it'll all work out. Just gotta keep telling myself that.
Sorry for this incredibly lame and ridiculous post. Welcome back to my blog. I'm gonna go watch Sense and Sensibility now and cry some more.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
True Life: People Like to Hit Me...With Their Cars
It's my favorite time, story time!
Sometimes, weird things happen to me.
For example, twice in my life, I've somehow managed to accidently stab myself with a pencil bad enough to cause some pretty good bleeding. I have a permanent gray spot inbedded in the tips of one of my fingers because of one of these incidents. It was 9th grade, it was English class, we had free time to chat and I was talking rather animatedly to my friends, my right hand holding a pencil, and I somehow managed with my gesturing to shove the pencil so far in my ring fingertip in my left hand, I'm pretty sure it stood up on its own. I pulled it out, held the injured finger in my opposite hand, and as a pool of blood filled up in it in a matter of seconds, I calmly walked to the front of the class, lifted my hands to my teacher and nonchalantly said "I need to go the nurse." I actually went to the bathroom first, and squeezed my finger SO HARD the entire way there that by the time I got there, the bleeding had almost stopped completely. Washed the blood off, went to the nurse, got a band-aid, went back to class within 5 minutes. No big deal. The other time was even grosser, so I'll refrain from telling you.
Another example, a few summers ago, I was at home alone and it was late at night. My neighborhood doesn't have streetlights and who knows why but no one ever EVER uses their lampposts so it's always uber dark. I'm in my room with the light on, and someone walks up to my window from the outside and knocks on it. And for whatever reason, my brain doesn't register fast enough and I stupidly walk to my front door, open it, and look out to see who was trying to get my attention. No one is there but there's a shady car parked across the street. That's when my brain starts working and I realize any normal person would ring the door bell or call me, I FREAK OUT, close the door and lock it, run into the bathroom, and sit there curled up in a ball crying for half an hour until my dad got home.
So weird things happen to me.
Sometimes, they especially happen while I'm running at nite.
And btw everybody I'm totally scared of the dark. Probably due to the story I just told you and the one I'm about to tell you, as well as the trend in my neighborhood to never use your outside lights.
Once, maybe about 5 years ago, I was home from Millersville for a break and decided I was gonna go out and run. I'm pretty sure this was the last time since currently starting this 5k training that I've run, and you'll soon figure out why. It was pretty late at nite, 11-11:30, and I decided to just do one little block around, about half a mile. On the other main road in my neighborhood, almost directly across from my house on the other street, I'm running, it's pitch black, and I notice there is an even darker shadowy person-shaped figure just standing silently in the middle of the road. Just standing there. Not walking by. Not holding a flashlight, a phone, nada. Not the neighbor who lived at that house. Not making a sound.
Just. Standing. There. Who does that?
I think somehow my brain protected me (or like in the previous story just didn't think), because the fear of WHO/WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???? didn't register until after I casually ran by like I see creepy shadowy figures standing in the middle of the street silently in the dead of night everyday. But after I got by? That's when I realized the danger/creepiness factor. I sprinted the rest of the way home for my life, with the fear that all that person had to do was cut thru my neighbors yard to get to my house and beat me there anyway. But they didn't and I made it there, so out of shape I almost killed myself with exertion, and had no desire to ever run outside at nite again. Or just ever run again...how am I supposed to protect myself and get away from an attacker when I'm already hacking up a lung, out of breath and dying from running?
I run with mace now. Go ahead creepers, make my day. In all honesty I'm really curious about seeing the effects of this stuff, and have decided not to try it on one of my friends, even when they're curious enough to be willing to get sprayed haha. I also have been running in the morning as the sun's rising. Birds tweet, the air is cool, and it's a much happier, safer-feeling time than 11:30 at nite. But last weekend we had daylight savings and so when I was getting up at 6:15 before to run, it's now dark. And honestly, I'm not the morning-est of people and getting me up when the sun isn't yet is basically the impossible. The past few days I've been finding other times to run. Tonite, I ran after dark.
First lap around my neighborhood? Nothing exciting.
Second lap? I get to the same location, the SAME EXACT LOCATION as the shadowy figure in the middle of the road incident, and this car that's been driving down the road coming in my direction, instead of slowing or going in the other lane to give me space decides to SWERVE TOWARDS ME AND INTO THE GRASS TO TRY TO HIT ME. Yep, that really happened. I was a teensy bit freaked and considered finishing that lap and calling it quits for about 2 seconds. But I told myself earlier I would do 4 and kept going.
3rd lap around, I discover the location and identity of the car parked on a side street, and run right by the driver (a teenage/20-something girl) standing next to it talking to a friend. Jerks, I think. Don't really have the balls to say anything out loud tho, cuz lets face it. They're crazy and have a car, and I have a small canister of pepper spray. Not much good in this situation. End of 3rd lap, the car is on it's way out of the development, rounds a corner near my house, sees me, speeds up, at the last second jerks the car to swerve out of the way like something jumped out at them, and then maybe just my imagination but directs the car towards me again. I ran a good 6 feet into someone's yard that time the second I saw them coming and the driver ended up straightening the car out, staying on the road, and driving by. I kind of felt like flipping them the bird, or doing SOMETHING again, but refrained, for the same reasons I didn't call out to them earlier. And because I'm probably a lot tougher in my head than in real life haha. Instead I ignored and played it off like it was nothing, but I still can't shake the feeling of pure terror that shot through my heart the moment they turned that corner the second time and I recognized the car. Ok, so there's a chance that maybe she was just a terrible driver and when she saw me got distracted and started driving towards me? And then the second time decided to overexaggerate and sharply swerve out of my way? Even though I was clearly in the middle of a yard and her headlights should have picked me up and given her fair warning long in advance?
Ok, enough trying to explain it away, she wanted to hit me. That's fine, no big deal. ;)
No more running at nite for me. Dark shadowy figures, psycho young girls in ugly orange sports cars who can't drive and/or think it's funny to try to drive off the road and hit me...crazy things happen.
On the bright side, I just ran 3 miles nonstop, no sweat (ok there was a little sweat...but ya know what I mean ;) ) in pretty good time for the first time in....oh wait, I've never done that before ever! YAY!
Sometimes, weird things happen to me.
For example, twice in my life, I've somehow managed to accidently stab myself with a pencil bad enough to cause some pretty good bleeding. I have a permanent gray spot inbedded in the tips of one of my fingers because of one of these incidents. It was 9th grade, it was English class, we had free time to chat and I was talking rather animatedly to my friends, my right hand holding a pencil, and I somehow managed with my gesturing to shove the pencil so far in my ring fingertip in my left hand, I'm pretty sure it stood up on its own. I pulled it out, held the injured finger in my opposite hand, and as a pool of blood filled up in it in a matter of seconds, I calmly walked to the front of the class, lifted my hands to my teacher and nonchalantly said "I need to go the nurse." I actually went to the bathroom first, and squeezed my finger SO HARD the entire way there that by the time I got there, the bleeding had almost stopped completely. Washed the blood off, went to the nurse, got a band-aid, went back to class within 5 minutes. No big deal. The other time was even grosser, so I'll refrain from telling you.
Another example, a few summers ago, I was at home alone and it was late at night. My neighborhood doesn't have streetlights and who knows why but no one ever EVER uses their lampposts so it's always uber dark. I'm in my room with the light on, and someone walks up to my window from the outside and knocks on it. And for whatever reason, my brain doesn't register fast enough and I stupidly walk to my front door, open it, and look out to see who was trying to get my attention. No one is there but there's a shady car parked across the street. That's when my brain starts working and I realize any normal person would ring the door bell or call me, I FREAK OUT, close the door and lock it, run into the bathroom, and sit there curled up in a ball crying for half an hour until my dad got home.
So weird things happen to me.
Sometimes, they especially happen while I'm running at nite.
And btw everybody I'm totally scared of the dark. Probably due to the story I just told you and the one I'm about to tell you, as well as the trend in my neighborhood to never use your outside lights.
Once, maybe about 5 years ago, I was home from Millersville for a break and decided I was gonna go out and run. I'm pretty sure this was the last time since currently starting this 5k training that I've run, and you'll soon figure out why. It was pretty late at nite, 11-11:30, and I decided to just do one little block around, about half a mile. On the other main road in my neighborhood, almost directly across from my house on the other street, I'm running, it's pitch black, and I notice there is an even darker shadowy person-shaped figure just standing silently in the middle of the road. Just standing there. Not walking by. Not holding a flashlight, a phone, nada. Not the neighbor who lived at that house. Not making a sound.
Just. Standing. There. Who does that?
I think somehow my brain protected me (or like in the previous story just didn't think), because the fear of WHO/WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???? didn't register until after I casually ran by like I see creepy shadowy figures standing in the middle of the street silently in the dead of night everyday. But after I got by? That's when I realized the danger/creepiness factor. I sprinted the rest of the way home for my life, with the fear that all that person had to do was cut thru my neighbors yard to get to my house and beat me there anyway. But they didn't and I made it there, so out of shape I almost killed myself with exertion, and had no desire to ever run outside at nite again. Or just ever run again...how am I supposed to protect myself and get away from an attacker when I'm already hacking up a lung, out of breath and dying from running?
I run with mace now. Go ahead creepers, make my day. In all honesty I'm really curious about seeing the effects of this stuff, and have decided not to try it on one of my friends, even when they're curious enough to be willing to get sprayed haha. I also have been running in the morning as the sun's rising. Birds tweet, the air is cool, and it's a much happier, safer-feeling time than 11:30 at nite. But last weekend we had daylight savings and so when I was getting up at 6:15 before to run, it's now dark. And honestly, I'm not the morning-est of people and getting me up when the sun isn't yet is basically the impossible. The past few days I've been finding other times to run. Tonite, I ran after dark.
First lap around my neighborhood? Nothing exciting.
Second lap? I get to the same location, the SAME EXACT LOCATION as the shadowy figure in the middle of the road incident, and this car that's been driving down the road coming in my direction, instead of slowing or going in the other lane to give me space decides to SWERVE TOWARDS ME AND INTO THE GRASS TO TRY TO HIT ME. Yep, that really happened. I was a teensy bit freaked and considered finishing that lap and calling it quits for about 2 seconds. But I told myself earlier I would do 4 and kept going.
3rd lap around, I discover the location and identity of the car parked on a side street, and run right by the driver (a teenage/20-something girl) standing next to it talking to a friend. Jerks, I think. Don't really have the balls to say anything out loud tho, cuz lets face it. They're crazy and have a car, and I have a small canister of pepper spray. Not much good in this situation. End of 3rd lap, the car is on it's way out of the development, rounds a corner near my house, sees me, speeds up, at the last second jerks the car to swerve out of the way like something jumped out at them, and then maybe just my imagination but directs the car towards me again. I ran a good 6 feet into someone's yard that time the second I saw them coming and the driver ended up straightening the car out, staying on the road, and driving by. I kind of felt like flipping them the bird, or doing SOMETHING again, but refrained, for the same reasons I didn't call out to them earlier. And because I'm probably a lot tougher in my head than in real life haha. Instead I ignored and played it off like it was nothing, but I still can't shake the feeling of pure terror that shot through my heart the moment they turned that corner the second time and I recognized the car. Ok, so there's a chance that maybe she was just a terrible driver and when she saw me got distracted and started driving towards me? And then the second time decided to overexaggerate and sharply swerve out of my way? Even though I was clearly in the middle of a yard and her headlights should have picked me up and given her fair warning long in advance?
Ok, enough trying to explain it away, she wanted to hit me. That's fine, no big deal. ;)
No more running at nite for me. Dark shadowy figures, psycho young girls in ugly orange sports cars who can't drive and/or think it's funny to try to drive off the road and hit me...crazy things happen.
On the bright side, I just ran 3 miles nonstop, no sweat (ok there was a little sweat...but ya know what I mean ;) ) in pretty good time for the first time in....oh wait, I've never done that before ever! YAY!
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